Nailed

Another heart. I think about this piece now, months' after its completion, and I see the representation of a "total feeling," a complex physical, psychological, and emotional reaction. This was especially agonizing but even from the sketch it felt good to do. In a lot of ways, art works are some sort of picture diary. I'm letting you read pages  fom mine.
In life, we take the hammering because it is unavoidable, and after a certain amount of time one tends to acquire an extensive collection of nails.

Sometimes I feel more of the nails than others. Being sensitive will do that. Also, I find with huge failures, all of those plans, those beautiful dreams, the peaks and valleys, so much energy and work, all became nails driving into one spot, knocking the wind right out of me. And the big ones take longer to hammer in so it's a protracted and shocking process.

Now that I'm an adult, a good portion of the time I'm doing the nailing. Whether it's about perception, expectations, rules (including moral and ethical code), or personal character traits, I'm making most of the decisions. You hold the hammer, life just provides the nails.

Or maybe it's  just me? Wouldn't be the first time that's happened.

Nailed: DeScaibled: 2016

Mixed media gouache, ink, and colored pencil on prepped chip board.

Honeycomb Heart

Mixed media watercolor, ink, and colored pencil on bristol paper.

Pink Week..."Ouch"

 

This is a post card sized piece of artwork for Sacramento's "Pink Week" where artist send in art where the dominate color is, of course, pink. This is entitled "Ouch" and was done in watercolor, ink, gouache.


 

A Valentine for my Valentine

Last year I made pretty elaborate valentine and decide never to do another again. Well, that was a lie that made itself true less than a week and a half ago when I drew some fiery heart designs and thought how great they would make for a valentine. This was much more complicated than I initially realized, but I'll be damned if I don't finish what I start. This is constructed from 90# and 120# watercolor paper. Watercolor, colored pencil, and some gouache. And about 10 hours of work.

But this was all for love. Unless the focus of your affections doesn't much care for these sorts of things. Then don't fucking bother.

Song of the moment: "Ready to Bleed, by Prayers
Color obession: Dove gray
Smart words: predilection

"Prolapse Murmur" in progress

I have dubbed this piece in progress "Prolapse Murmur," although that title can change at any point until it's varnished.  I brought more layered dripping and have added some collage material that I believe makes the piece more interesting.  I thoroughly enjoy the skulls in the background and may start doing some larger paintings of them in the near future.

I think after this one is finished, it will be the last Heart piece I do for a while.  Or maybe not.  Who the fuck knows, 'coz I definitely don't (Ha!).  I have created so few pieces in comparison to the experiences to explore, and it has also a great learning process, although why I am surprised is beyond me.  I think that's one of my favorite things about doing art; you literally learn more about yourself and what you can do each time. I'm pretty sure I'll paint some more of these as time goes on, as my thoughts and feelings change, as perspectives and Time is often known to do.  But the first set is, of course, Rage and Shame based.  Oh to be an artist! Laughing like a lunatic and crying bunnies all around =) 

Song Obsession: "Seabeast" by Mastodon
Color of the moment: Bruise turquoise
Words that make ya sma'ta': Penultimate

"It's Alive" in progress

This is the newest piece in progress, inspired by my thoughts about heart surgery, being an oddball and, really, what it is to be a Frankenstein. Before starting this, (and I incidentally do this on many pieces) I wrote down some thoughts about what it is to be a monster made from man, made by man to be a man but ultimately failing in every intention, aspiration and understanding of what it is to be human and being treated like an utter freak (which Frankenstein was), and this is on the back on this wood panel:
"Disparate parts put together to make a creature like man but wholly and truly a monster of pain-always an outcast, always persecuted, misunderstood. Feeling the weight of the world and destroyed by it."
So, this and a few other pieces in progress. Also really really contemplating where I can store my sculptural pieces before I go head-first and start on them. As always, I will do my best to keep you lovely folks updated. We will see.

Song of the Moment: "All Caps" by MF Doom
Color Obsession: Turquoise
New Word(Learn it, Use it, Become Smarter): Castigate

Emerging of "Emergence"

So this is a picture of a newer piece called "Emergence." I need to get it properly shot.
I realized recently how many levels and subjects my various works encompass, and this one is probably the heaviest. I'm also finally at the point where I'm wanting to show my work in galleries. Nerve-racking...I'm always ready for the worst to be said, but I'm tired of the lackluster and honestly, poorly executed art getting rave reviews because it's sold cheaply and done quickly. This is no longer acceptable and I'm going to throw myself into the fire. Pray for me.

Song of the week: "La Dolly Vita" The Smashing Pumpkins